From Therapy to Daily Life I’m a psychologist who trained in the world of psychodynamic therapy, where therapists stayed quiet, non-directive, and reserved.Over time, I moved beyond that approach – combining depth and insight with something more practical, active, and accessible. In these blogs, I share tools, ideas, and ways of thinking that have helped me, my clients, and the people around me – both in therapy and in everyday life. These posts are grounded in experience, an

The Brain and Regulation trilogy If you’ve ever tried “counting to ten” or told yourself to calm down and found it useless, you’re not alone. In my previous post, “I Tried Counting to Ten. It Doesn’t Work,” I explained why many classic self-regulation tricks fail. This first part of the trilogy takes us deeper – into what actually happens inside the brain when we feel anxious or overwhelmed. When we understand how our brain operates, we start to see that these strong feelings

The Brain and Regulation Trilogy In Part 1 – The Alarm System, we explored the lower brain: the part that drives anxiety, fear, and other instinctive reactions. This next step looks at the other half of the story – the higher brain – and why we lose access to clear, flexible thinking when the body’s alarm is on. The higher brain sits at the top and front of our head, mostly in the prefrontal cortex. It’s the part that allows us to think, plan, imagine, use language, and hold

The Brain and Regulation Trilogy In Part 2 – Why We Struggle to Think Clearly, we saw what happens when the alarm system takes over and the higher brain loses access to clarity and nuance. This final part of the trilogy looks at what actually brings the system back into balance – how we regulate, restore safety, and allow the higher brain to work again. The thinking brain needs the lower brain to be in a safe mode in order to direct energy toward it and have the full scope o

Here’s why this simple advice often fails — and how to make it actually help. " ℂ ount to ten” is one of the most common things we’re told, or tell ourselves, when we’re upset. Along with other versions like take time out, or breath.  It’s part of a wider message: that when we’re anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, we should calm ourselves down. Especially when it shows, when we’re visibly angry, panicked, or not in control. The expectation is to regulate ourselves quietly, effic